Homemade Egg Rolls, King Caketails, a visit from Kerry, and Hanging with Baby Jesus

Homemade Egg Rolls, who doesn’t love those?!?!! Warm little fried pockets of vegetable deliciousness, tucked away inside a crispy, yet soft on the inside, little cradle of fried love. Well now you can make them yourself. I should address my lack of writing.  I haven’t posted in a while, a LONG while.  I also haven’t shown you my tattoos, partially because they aren’t finished yet (long and FRUSTRATING story, and partially because, when it comes to actually revealing things about myself,  my inner workings, why I am the way I am; I find it hard to do, it takes some time, and it doesn’t come naturally. Post half-naked pics online, yes I can do that, actually bare my soul, ummm yea not so much.

Sweet Baby Jesus in a KingCakeTail!!!

Moving on, one of my super spectacular, amazing, inspiring friends, Kerry, came up for a visit. Kerry is freaking awesome, seriously, I haven’t laughed that much in a long time, maybe years. We ate, we drank, we watch old movies and then ate more. Oh and fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the movie Salt, woke up to the credits rolling. EPIC good times were had!  Kerry is a vegetarian, considering I’m the queen of meat I know that seems crazy.  So I resolved share with her some of my favorite vegetarian throughout the weekend; after all we did tell Teesh (that’s her hubby’s nickname) that I would give her some badass cooking lessons.  We also invented cocktails, above, you will see the sweet Baby Jesus floating in a King Caketail!!! Since the Baby Jesus gets baked into King Cake, we felt it appropriate to include him in our libation.

Fried Broccoli, mmmm mmm good!!!!

I can’t remember everything I made, but the two most important things were fried broccoli, and egg rolls.  I’m not going to tell you how to make fried broccoli with siracha mayo, maybe another time, but not today; however I am going to tell you how to make egg rolls.

Check out this spread!!

Egg Rolls

  • Make sure you have: A HUGE frying pan or wok,  brown paper bags from the grocery store, or the small brown lunch paper bags, several ramekins or bowls, tongs, small sauce pan, a good slicing knife or chef’s knife, a lot of counter space, wooden spoon or high heat spatula



  • Olive Oil
  • 2 Large Vidalia Onions, chopped small
  • 6 Cloves of Garlic finely minced
  • 1 head of cabbage, chopped up A LOT
  • 1/2 bag of carrots, peeled and shredded
  • 2 Crowns of broccoli, chopped up small, stems peeled and cut very small
  • 2 Cups chicken broth (low sodium), or vegetable stock
  • salt
  • pepper
  • 1/4 cup soy sauce, more if you like
  • Large Wonton Wrappers
  • Add olive oil to the pan along with onions and garlic, season with salt and pepper and saute till onions are slightly translucent
  • Add the carrots, cabbage broth, and soy sauce; let cook for about 10 minutes, mix and turn as needed
  • Next throw in the broccoli stems and florets, mix and turn as needed
  • Allow to cook till it’s done. It will cook down a lot. To know when it’s done you just have to keep trying it. A rough job I know. It’s a hard knock life.
  • When it’s finally done, using a slotted spoon transfer it to a bowl that you can work from to make the rolls. SAVE THE JUICE!!!!!!!!!!! This is why we use a slotted spoon to retrieve the goodness from the pan. The sauce left after you have removed the filling cooks down to a delicious dipping sauce!!
  • Pour the leftover sauce into a small sauce pan and heat over low flame and allow it to reduce. When it’s reduced by about half turn it off
  • Wash the pan you just used to make the filling, dry it REALLY WELL, and then fill it between 1/3 – 1/2 of the way up with vegetable oil, or canola oil, whichever you prefer. You want the oil to come half way up the egg roll. We will come back to this
  • Pour the sauce you reduced (see above) into a ramekin or bowl
  • Line your counter next to your pan, or whatever spot you pick to drain the rolls on, with paper bags, if you don’t have paper bags, paper towels VERY layered will work as well

Eggrolls on paper

  • To fill, roll and fry the egg rolls
  • Fill a bowl or ramekin with water for dipping your fingers in
  • Open the package, and keep a damp paper towel over it to prevent them from drying out. It should be damp NOT wet. If if is wet that will make the wrappers mushy. A delicate balance of moisture is needed
  • Place a wonton wrapper in front of you with a point towards you, aka have the wrapper in a diamond shape
  • Spoon about 1/4C-1/3C of the mixture into the center of the egg roll wrapper,
  • Dab the edges with water, this will “seal” the roll
  • What happens next is hard to put into words, check out this GREAT video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJTdKyDg_2Y  to learn exactly how to wrap them!
  • Now that all your little rolls are rolled, remember that pan you washed and filled with oil? Turn it on medium to medium high heat.  Let it warm up for a good 5 minutes, place your hand over it (NOT IN IT) and see if  you can feel some heat off of it. If you can’t, give it another 5 minutes, if you can feel the heat then you are ready to rock.
  • Place a roll in the oil, it should immediately start fiercely bubbling and crackling, if it doesn’t, wait to add any more rolls until that one starts singing.
  • Let them enjoy that oil bath until the side you put them in on is beautifully golden brown, and them flip them over (tongs work best) and then let their other side get nice and golden.
  • When they are the color you desire, take them out, again tongs work best, and place them directly onto the paper bags.
  •  Allow to cool for a just few minutes,  just so they are cool enough to handle, then slice diagonally to serve (or eat them whole if you prefer)
  • And don’t forget the dipping sauce!!!!!!!

mmmmm mmm good

As this post has turned out to be SUPER long, I will just have to write another with the King Cake Tail recipe, but don’t worry I promise to not take as long to write that one!!!

Enjoy and remember to share!