The reality of parenting a high needs child.  

9:30pm, my loves are asleep (as it should be), and I’m awake, securing a respite worker, setting up Respite interview appointments and distributing copies of evaluations and reports to V’s current therapists of all her most recent district evals for her next level transition. I’m not upset,  I’m not bitter, I’m not annoyed; Im just saying, this is what it takes.  On the smallest, most microscopic level,  to get it all held together, to be the parent she NEEDS. To do what it takes to meet HER needs so that she can be the best Vivienne she can be, her most functional her, be given all the help she needs to get these basic needs met, as seemingly demanding as they feel. All so that, 10, 20, 30 years from now she’s not broken because I was lazy and wanted to French parent. Because I did.  I really freaking did. I wanted to raise a self soothing,  self loathing,  weaned by 6months, distant,  stoic, non emotional,  non needy, self reliant robot that could take care of her self and do whatever the hell she was told. That’s what I, ME, wanted.  But that’s not what I got. I got the exact opposite.  And so, rather than try and break her and force her to bend to “my will “, and spank her into submission, I have chosen, we have chosen,  to meet her needs, and do whatever it takes to help her. For now it means still nursing so that she doesn’t get a feeding tube, and things like staying awake once they are asleep so I can correspond with her therapists, and caseworkers and advocate against ridiculous therapy denials,  and learn to navigate taconic DDSO. And then when I’m done with that I move on to writing reviews and product testing and searching for deals, as a way to attempt to supplement at least 0.004% of  the income lost by me not working, because lord knows we never saw THIS coming, and to get tools for viv for therapy that I wouldn’t be able to get otherwise.  And then,  after all that. I stroll through the house and make sure to hide any items that caused a meltdown today in the hopes that in the morning we at least get 20 minutes before it all goes to hell again over a color or smell or blanket on the wrong side or shoe not aligned perfectly straight.  

And the crazy part? I don’t mind. Yea, when shes kicking me in the face and head and stomach and teeth I tend to loose my shit.  But all this, all the “after hours” stuff.  I’ve got this.  This is all the cake walk of the day.  Cake walk half asleep, but still. This is the gravy, and friends, give me a spoon, because I can handle the gravy.  She’s going to be amazing!

Forget the sand this summer !

Forget the sand this summer !

Short and sweet here today. 

Sand is out,  water beads are in! 

When you have a child that plays differently, you have to really be cautious about what they use for play toys. For us, sand is not good. But I wanted to give V the experience of having a sand box and playing outside, and that can’t happen with sand, so I thought “outside the sand box” and used water beads instead of the sand. Best idea I have ever had! 

These are a great size, bigger than any others I’ve found. I got them on Amazon. You can use your own or get these. This amount in the sand box here was just one order. I used the whole box.  http://amzn.to/2rVpYrF

Have fun! 

Creamy ranch smothered pork chops 

Creamy ranch smothered pork chops 

I’ll get right to it because time matters. This is good, really darn good. And it’s easy.

Here’s what you need 

4 pork chops

1 can cream of cheddar soup

1 can water or milk 

1 package ranch dressing mix

To make :

Put chops on crock

Combine all other ingredients and whisk to combine

Pour into crock Pot

Cook on low 6hrs or so

Serve over mashed potatoes and a veg. 

Tadashi. Dinner made. 

You’re welcome 

Snowed in Sunday 

​Snowed in Sunday. And watching “the men who stare at goats”, one of my all time favorite movies. It is completely under rated. And if you haven’t seen it, clearly now is the time.  Excuse me while I go practice “cloud bursting”  😉

Kindness and love

​Someone jumped off the Newburgh-Beacon Bridge tonight. I didn’t know them and yet my heart breaks. It breaks for the sadness and despair, that was so strong they felt this was their only option left. It breaks for anyone they left behind, be it family, friend, or foe. It breaks for how many other people will take their own lives. It breaks for the lives in my own family lost to suicide. It breaks for every sigle person who looks in the mirror and feels that the stress and weight of life is just so much they cannot bear it any longe. And it breaks because as a country we are so horribly ill equipped to deal with mental illness and assistance when needed. Be kind. Show love. Always.

Crock pot lentil soup

Crock pot lentil soup

​Easy crockpot lentil soup:


1lb dried lentils
2lbs sausage
6 carrots (chopped to your liking)
2 qts chicken stock
Heafty sprinkling of salt and pepper
1 tsp each dried granulated garlic and onion

Combine everything and cook on low 8hours

Saving rusted heaters

Saving rusted heaters

As part of my non stop diy home projects, I am fixing the rusted baseboard heaters downstairs.  It’s fast, simple and cheap and I can do it myself. Granted it takes a bit longer trying to squeeze in doing it while she naps, since she rarely naps and needs to be physically attached to me always, so getting away from her for projects like this is difficult. Anyhow, I am FINALLY in the home stretch. So I  thought I would show you how it’s done. 


I wish I had taken photos before sanding the rust off, because there was a lot of it. 

You will need.

  • A face mask
  • Safety eye protection 
  • Gloves
  • Sander or sand paper
  • A dust rag
  • Newspaper or brown paper to protect walls from the spray paint
  • Rust stopping spray paint (lowes or home depot have it)
  • And a few minutes to spare.  

  1. Tape up newspaper around the baseboards to protect the walls. If you are painting the walls after then you don’t even have to do this step
  2. Put on your face mask, gloves and protective eye wear.
  3. Sand all rusted spots off your baseboards l, get it nice and smooth.
  4. Vacuum up debris or dust or wipe down the baseboards.  
  5. Open all windows!!
  6. Spray paint the baseboards, follow the instructions on the can. Long even strokes are best, and don’t forget to stop and shake the can often. 
  7. Keep all the windows open and let the area air out as long as possible.  


After, you can either keep them just as is, or paint them any color you like. I’ll be painting these a dark light gray. Yes, there is such a thing.